Communication Analysis

This week was a strange week on a few different levels. As the week began, I once again felt like one of those performers who miraculously work to spin multiple porcelain plates atop narrow rods. As one begins to spin, so does another, and another, and so on. If you've ever witnessed this, you might hold you breath in anticipation of one or many plates dropping to the ground and coming to a dramatic CRASH!

Needless to say, I realized just how much I had piling up in my life. Yet, this was not the first time I had a feeling such as this. In instances such as these, I truly worry that I will be unable to keep my head level enough to communicate clearly to those around me. When I began our assignment for the week, and realized I would have to both analyze my communication skills along with have two other individuals analyze me, I couldn't help but feel a little worried. My own lowered self-esteem left me feeling worried about how others perceive my abilities to interact effectively.

My boyfriend, the man who most often takes the brunt of my rants, rambles, and frustrations, is also the person who participates in analyzing my self reflections. He and I communicate exceptionally well when working to understand the reasons behind our frustrations, but also when devising plans to continue to evolve in a positive way. When his results on both assessments were only one point away from where I scored myself, there wasn't exactly a surprise as much as a relief. It was comforting to see how well he truly knows me and understands my motivations behind interactions. In the past, I had struggled with remaining true to myself while in a relationship. This current relationship that I am in has been the first that I, for many factors, have seemingly been able to remain transparent in my wants, needs, opinions, and beliefs.

 This primarily resulted in my decision to invite two people whom I hold close to my heart, but also know me in situations such as the one I was experiencing along with the many other levels of my emotional being. My little sister, and toughest most marvelous critic, along with my boyfriend were the lucky winners. My sister, 3 years younger than me, has always felt the wrath of my "bad side". As many sisters experience, we fought constantly. It wasn't until we were older that we began to get along better. Yet, I still had this flighting feeling that she perceives me in a totally different light than I do myself. When she had sent me her results from the assessments though, and was no further than 2 points away from where I had scored my own self, I was amazed. No matter how many ugly fights we had gotten in over totally irrational things, my sister is able to see me as a balanced communicator. Granted, my assessment result within the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale was not even close to the "mild" range, the results we had both gotten were results that I am very comfortable with. Both my sister and myself both see my abilities to stand up for what I believe in while refraining from knocking someone else down. This skill can be extremely useful, especially when working as an advocate. We so often need to be able to speak up for what we believe in in ways that not only avoid hurting the feelings of those whom we are speaking to, but do so in an effective enough way that evokes change.

Cross-Cultural Communication

Within the community that I work, many cultures are represented. In my school alone, we see over 20 native languages embedded into our English speaking community. When thinking about if I communicate across cultures differently, I find that I do often shift my interactions towards cultural mediums. Though, the cultural shifts that I make within my own communications are similar in approach, regardless of the culture with which I am interacting. Even though the approach make be the same, I find that the direct presentation of my communication shifts depend on the situation. I find that I make more references towards meaningful cultural events in different families lives, such as their involvement in their cultural-communities (i.e. religious holidays, cultural traditions, etc.) I find that I also will be more cognisant of the differences in communication form (i.e. changes in eye contact, physical contact, and reciprocal turn taking within communications). When thinking about the best ways to communicate across cultures these are a few suggestions I have:

1. Take the time to understand the culture with which your are communicating. Learn through questioning (either the direct contact person, or through other means- books, internet, etc.). Learning more about what to expect from that culture's norms allows for easier navigating when communicating.
2. Take the time to listen more deeply, instead of simply hearing what is being said. By listening critically, with intention to understand language differences, you can grow more successful in understanding the functions of communications. By listening, you become privy to cultural priorities, and even sometimes cultural concerns.
3. Make a clear effort to show that you are open to the cultural difference. Making an effort can be done in a variety of ways. One way I find most helpful is through note taking. Prior to meeting with a family or colleague from a different background, I compile a list of my own questions/concerns that may arise within conversation. I also make a list of reminders to keep in the forefront of my mind regarding the cultural within which I am communicating. 

Silent Communication- Sitcom Style

The show I chose to (finally) watch was The Big Bang Theory. After having friends recommend it to me for years now, I figure what better chance to expose myself than through this activity!

In the opening scene, there is a group of 4 guys sitting around in the living room of an apartment. They are all facing one another openly, and seem to be friends by the way the conversation shifts across the group. Shortly after the show began, a female entered the apartment, and seemed to be friends as well. Initially it was as if she were only a friend, though after a short interaction one of the guys showed a more visually responsive demeanor towards her, and eventually kissed her. Being that it was welcomed, I can assume that the female and this one guy are a couple.

Once I turned the volume on, I found my initial assumptions to be true. The 4 gentlemen were in fact close friends. Throughout the remainder of the episode, the guys hung out together again, and again. The female from the beginning scene was, in fact, dating one of the friends. He was very fond of her, and continued to show very bold emotions of love and acceptance of her, more so than some of his friends. As the show continued, I was able to deduct relationship information from the body languages of the characters. Though, there were a few characters that didn't necessarily have a full range of emotional expressive abilities, which resulted in making those characters harder to understand without verbal communication. Because of these characters, the show proved to be chock-full of uncomfortable interactions due to miscommunications, or a lack of social grace (i.e. bluntness).

The multiple personalities on the show, and the unexpected relationships between the characters leaves me to believe that I will definitely watch more to understand the differences in communications between these very unique character personalities!

Communication Star

I met Dr. Paris my sophomore year of undergraduate studies. She was ethereal. Her voice was soft and kind. It was as if you could hear her smile in her words. When she spoke to anyone, you could just feel that she was listening. When I had first met her, she was simply a face in the Early Childhood Studies. I knew her name, as she was guaranteed to be my professor later in my studies. I had never hear anything negative about her as a person, simply that when you were in her class you had a chance to become involved in something bigger than you.

Dr. Paris, unsurprisingly, taught a course highlighting professional issues in early childhood. She was always working to provide us students with opportunities to grow independently, but also to grow as a collaborative unit. Throughout the time spent in her course, she shared a wide range of perspectives. SHe provided opportunities for open forum discussions, always restating and validating what the students would share. Regardless of if a student's statement was totally off topic, or seemingly failing to grasp the concepts discussed, Dr. Paris never responded as if an idea were wrong. She would ask more probing questions to better understand the thought process responsible for ideas shared. She allowed for self-reflection of students, but also shared her own process of self-reflection. Though she sat in a position of power, leading students through course work she was responsible for teaching, she always shared ultimate honesty. Her honest approaches to interactions, combined with a lack of judgement, and a clear presence of compassion, Dr. Paris helped me to grow a foundation of effective communication.

Each day, I work my hardest (successfully or not!) to think first before responding to ideas. When people speak to me, I work to listen before thinking. I even find that I often have to stop my mind from predicting what someone might say, and simply wait to hear their voice. Dr. Paris taught me what it feels like for sometime to value my own voice. From that, I plan to take her lessons and examples, and constantly work to grow my own ability to share that feeling with the individuals I meet.