One of my closest friends is a kind, intelligent, Caucasian woman. While in college, the guy that she had been dated was a first generation Indian. His parents were very conservative, and did not stray from their traditional cultures much. His parents were kind, respectful people. Yet, they insisted on the fact that their son marry an Indian girl. From what I understand, it took quite a bit of bargaining for them to agree to him selecting his own wife, as opposed to the traditional situation of an arranged marriage. When my friend began dating this guy, he alluded to his parents connection to their Indian traditions. Two years later, they moved in together. At this point, his parents still did not know about their relationships. Three years later, they still did not know about their relationship.
The whole time, I always felt uncomfortable by the situation. My friend's boyfriend truly loved her for who she was. Yet, he always remained faithful to his family. He knew how much it would hurt his parents if they were to find out. Although I never interacted with his parents, I knew that their idea of their son's hypothetical relationship with a non-Indian was something was discriminatory of someone that was raised different than themselves. His parents expressed a racial microagression towards my friend, deeming her unsuitable for their son simply because she was Caucasian. This microaggression was one of the major reasons why this couple, whom loved each other dearly, are not still together. It breaks my heart to know that my dear friend, someone who loves deeply, was stripped the right to date and marry a man of her choosing because of her race.
Alyssa,
ReplyDeleteI do agree with you, for some people it is very difficult to envisage marrying people of different race or ethnic background. Cultural clash occurs when children of such families do not share the same traditional views and beliefs as their parents and are more open to others and can even marry people from different communities and religion as well. In these instances, micro-aggressions can occur against the 'outsider'. I have always asked myself why people were so reluctant about mixed marriage. I believe that one's culture is so imprinted in someone that it becomes very difficult for that person to learn and understand the perspectives of others. It is only when someone become aware of one’s own culture and the impact it has on him or her that he/she can learn about the culture of others and become more open. Learning to accept others is to overcome our hidden biases.